I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
