She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
