it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
