well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
