To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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