Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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