She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
