Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
