I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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