Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
