And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i came on her dog
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
