I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
