Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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