dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.