Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.