Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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