you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
