Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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