I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you would pick up someone in the library
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
