As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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