Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
