Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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