I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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