If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
