Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
