Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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