so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
