So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
