My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
