he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize