he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
