Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
