the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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