fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
