My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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