Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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