I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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