dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
