so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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