I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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