whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
