You're so nebulous sometimes
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
