Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
