I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
