Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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