I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
