it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
