i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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