he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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