On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
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