yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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