What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
