Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
