it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
