I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
