Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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