we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
