and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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