bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
