whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
