A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
