Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
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All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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