I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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