Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
