Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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