I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
