Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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