Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
